JOIN US OR DIE

About

One of the eternal questions of mankind has always been: Why is there so much death in the world?  It has been asked since the flowering days of civilization.  Finally, a movement was able to describe the reason.

Not joining.

There are two options in humanity, obviously.  One can join, and thus not die, or one can die, and thus die.  Common sense may dictate that there really is no option—only joining—but history has proven otherwise.  From William of Ockham to Jim Henson, many insidious (and now deceased) fools have chosen a path filled only with death.

They are called non-joiners.

The movement was founded by the paradoxical Harley P. Mathewson.  Mathewson  is a highly intelligent, potentially immortal vampire (scholars have disputed this) time traveller (again, disputed) who has been involved in many affairs of the world over the course of his life.  An often controversial and always arbitrary and capricious figure, Mathewson has dictated the changing doctrine of the Join Us or Die (abbreviated JUOD, pronounced “Jew-Odd”) movement.

Mathewson has marshaled many to his cause, often giving them the Proposition and killing the many who have determined their fate. Many others have read Mathewson’s masterwork “The Verities of Joining” and decided to join.

Chances are, joiners live near you.  You can find them by looking to see if they are dying, or facing certain death. If not, chances are they are joiners.  If they are, you can tell them that they have chosen “poorly” and shouldn’t have been standing where they did.

This blog, then, is the chronicle of those Joiners to chart the development of the movement—those who have chosen wisely, and the spread of imminent death that follows non-joiners.  Expect frequent updates on those Mathewson has deemed joiners or non-joiners, as well as other Joinish movements.

Be sure, also, to follow the compendium of all Joinology, the JUOD Wiki.  It is also frequently updated, and contains the history and important principles of JUOD.