Animal joiners

From JUOD

Animal joiners are non-human members of the animal kingdom that openly support the JUOD Movement. This distinction is usually made on the level of entire species, though there have been individual exceptions for certain creatures. Most of the reasoning behind declaring animals to be joiners or non-joiners stems from Volume XXVIII of The Verities of Joining, The Leviathan Chronicles.

Classification

Generally, monkeys and apes are considered non-joiners—Harley P. Mathewson, at least, declared them as such when his famous helper monkey Einstein, whom he taught to read and write four languages, flunked an exam of New Canadianese. Because of their feeble minds, Mathewson declared all primates to be non-joiners; when one zoologist remarked at a conference that because many people couldn't learn New Canadianese, then it seemed everyone but Mathewson should be a non-joiner, Mathewson swooped in on a bubble and killed the man where he stood by pelting him to death with frozen bananas.

Mathewson's love of monsters and carnivorous animals has led him to declare several especially murderous and violent creatures as joiners. Cryptids are especially prone to this designation.

See also: Notable animal joiners and Notable animal non-joiners