Grimke Swan

From JUOD

Grimke Swan was one of the most notorious, if not famous, non-joiners, and was one of the primary pedagogical examples used by Harley P. Mathewson in his famous lecture series Chautauqua. Many of Mathewson's lectures would be eventually incorporated into The Verities of Joining.

At Chautauqua

Chautauqua was an adult education movement in the United States, highly popular in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Chautauqua assemblies expanded and spread throughout rural America until the mid 1920s, bring entertainment and culture with educational speakers. Mathewson was invited to speak soon after he mysteriously left the Alpha Tau chapter of Beta Theta Pi. He was asked to speak on Prussian history, which he was supposedly an expert on. At no speeches, however, did Mathewson ever address the topic, only occasionally expressing admiration for proto-joiner Otto Von Bismarck. Instead, he asserted his predictions for what would happen in the future. Many proponents of Time Travel Theory argue that this proves Mathewson had actually traveled back in time to give these lectures, and the Mathewson here was not the current one of the day but rather a future version of himself. What exactly his predictions were is not completely known.

Apparently, Mathewson's lectures caused quite a stir of debate, and frequently ventured even more off topic, beyond his predictions of the future to random discussion on pants to discourses on joining. Mathewson frequently discussed Grimke Swan, whom he detested, telling some version of the following story, common to many people who are members of Beta Theta Pi Fraternity:

Grimke Swan was a huge douche. You know, like that guy who's such a huge douche that he like douches all over you if you're even near him? Yeah, that guy. Anyway, this fag Grimke Swan attempted to gain acceptance to this group of friends, but was denied admittance because he was an insufferable bore. He was like as bad as Jim Henson [No one, of course knew whom Mathewson was talking about.] However, having gained knowledge of the existence of the group, he could not be easily dispatched. So the cool guys conducted a fake initiation to keep Grimke silent, but not surprisingly, Grimke died a year later. And that's why you don't not join.

Usage Today

Today, Mathewson still uses the story to illustrate fake joining, using it as recently as 2005, when he spoke before a Lions Club meeting. Fake joining is the equivalent of not joining, which of course leads directly to certain death.