Joining Index
From JUOD
The Joining Index, or JI, is an objective metric for joining. It was invented by Ben Franklin in 1749 out of disgust at the current lack of such a metric, and was quite revolutionary for the time.
Other methods for measuring joining were available at the time, but all relied on faulty assumptions about the physical characteristics of joiners, or ridiculous superstitions. The most popular method involved the joiner urinating on a small rod (referred to as an "Indeathing Swab"), which would then change color to indicate the strength of the person's joining convictions. Unfortunately, there was no established gauge for telling what different colors indicated, and administrators of the test would frequently make up their own to suit the results they desired each time. Another popular method involved soaking a person in kerosene overnight and then throwing him/her into a bonfire. Since this method always inflicted death upon the testee (a result that the inventors originally assumed to simply be the appropriate result of a "failed" test), it was eventually deemed unreliable.
JI Systems
Although Franklin's original JI system was incredibly accurate for the time, it has been adjusted and modified over the years. As a result, several different JI calculation systems have been used throughout history. All are similar and based on Franklin's. Only one is in major use today.
Franklin's JI
Joining Indices are calculated based on a series of numerical, measurable traits of the testee. Franklin's original JI system was based on these five categories:
- Natural Propensity for Joining
- Feats of Joining
- Influence, Willpower, and Ability to Hover Just Above the Ground
- Resistance to Deathly Elements and Douchebaggery
- Spelling
JI subscores for each category are calculated and summed to find the overall JI. Since each category scores on a scale of -1.0 to +1.0, total JI is measured on a scale of -5.0 to +5.0. The pH scale used in modern chemistry to measure acidity is actually based upon the Joining Index.
RUJIX
In the early 1950s, joiner Albert Einstein took a brief break from his work on the grand unified theory of physics to seek improvement to the JI system in use at the time. There were two systems in major use at the time: one in most western nations ("Standard" JI) and another exclusive to communist nations ("Red" JI). Einstein found a way to coordinate their differences and unify them. He named this system the Revised Unified Joining IndeX, or "RUJIX." RUJIX was almost immediately adopted as a global standard and is still in use today as the official JI. The JUOD Movement endorses RUJIX as their only JI as well.
