Leviathan

From JUOD

Leviathan or Megatron (c. 1000 BC – Present) is the first and most famous of the animal joiners. Called by many names in ancient legends and in the Bible, the Leviathan was known mostly for attacking many ships and valiant knights, such as shown in the picture to the right. Reportedly he was tamed by Harley P. Mathewson for cross-Atlantic travel.

Biography

While Leviathan is generally regarded as a violent sea monster, this image could not be farther from the truth. Instead of attacking ships, the Leviathan was actually trying to join the crews of many ships, but due to his unfortunate size, ended up getting angry and destroying many vessels when joining became impossible. It was probably this pro-joining attitude that Mathewson first saw in him. (See below.)

Currently, Leviathan swims the Atlantic, picking fights with Great White sharks. Because of his immense size, Leviathan wins handily. There have been some reports of the sea monster attacking cruise lines and Greenpeace ships, however. The latter of these could be on directive from Mathewson, who is a known hater of Greenpeace. He has recently denounced the organization during his presidential campaign not for its environmental activities but for supporting whales, which he considers to be "non-joiners of the sea."

Mathewson's Taming

One recent scholar, in a paper for the Cryptozoological Journal, recently connected an old Nantucket legend first promulgated by a "giant of a man," describing his riding a giant sea monster, with a sailor's account of a similar phenomenon noted in journal discovered in the Caribbean. Both contain striking similarities to typical Mathewson behavior, and proponents of Time Travel Theory have suggested that this legend describes a trip Mathewson took back in time. As the story goes, a giant man went around the taverns in Nantucket claiming he had tamed a mighty sea monster. When none of the local whalers believed him, Mathewson stole aboard their ship and eventually called upon the Leviathan to attack the ship, killing all those aboard. Some scholars even believe that this formed the basis for the Herman Melville novel "Moby Dick."

This scholar's theory is somewhat corroborated by an account from The Verities of Joining, Volume XXVIII, The Leviathan Chronicles, Part I. The volume contains no mention of the incident in Nantucket, but Mathewson describes other instances of stowing away on ships for part of a journey across the Atlantic. In these voyages he quickly became bored with the trip after the first few days, eventually calling all the crew non-joiners and summoning upon Leviathan to attack and destroy the ship. He would then ride Leviathan around the wreckage of the crew, laughing at any members of the crew still adrift, making a giant pair of jaws with his arms and smacking them together. Eventually bored with destroying ships, he decided it would just be easier to tame the beast and ride across the entire ocean.

Taming the Leviathan allowed Mathewson to travel across the sea at great speeds during his trips back and forth from Europe and the United States. Reportedly, Mathewson gave it the name "Megatron," which later became one of the main characters in the popular cartoon series "Transformers." In response to this unauthorized appropriation, Mathewson forced the movie version of "Transformers" to be directed by the atrocious non-joiner Michael Bay, while also killing many of the original development team.