Luther Looshtag
From JUOD
Luther Hugh Looshtag, or The Hermit, or, as Harley P. Mathewson exclusively calls him, Loser Huge Douchebag, is the unofficial president of STAL, a notable non-joiner, and one of Mathewson's sworn enemies. He is most famous for his treatise on not joining called Bowling Alone: The Sole Way to Bowl. Looshtag lives in a cave somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains.
Early Life
Not much in known about Looshtag's early life. He was born sometime before World War II in North Carolina to the parents of a shopkeeper (a "sole proprietor," as Looshtag often points out) and a stay-at-home mother. He was homeschooled. It is unknown whether he pursued higher education.
Single Meeting with Mathewson
In early to mid-1980s -- probably not long after or before he discovered Awesome McBear -- Mathewson journeyed out to meet Looshtag, cross-country skiing around the mountains, venturing into any caves he could find (some scholars suggest at this time, too, he may have discovered or added to his treasure). Many presumed Mathewson was on the journey to kill Looshtag, or else engage in some immense showdown. By Mathewson's own admission, and a later account by Looshtag himself, the meeting lasted only a few seconds. Both have produced an exact transcript of the conversation:
MATHEWSON: So, you're Luther Hugh Looshtag, huh?
LOOSHTAG: Yes.
MATHEWSON: More like, "Loser Huge Douchebag."
Mathewson then skied away, laughing hysterically.
Works
- Bowling Alone: The Sole Way to Bowl, his most famous treatise.
- A Hermit's Life For Me, an autobiography.
- 1001 Creative Ways to Masturbate, a self-love manual (illustrated).
- Misanthropy and the Life of Jonathan Swift: Essays (ed.), for the University of Phoenix on-line.
- The Vagaries of Joining, a counterargument to The Verities of Joining. Mathewson has called the book "even more incoherent than House of Leaves."
