The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

From JUOD

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the latest utter failure of a movie by George Lucas, and also the last disgraceful part of the hitherto outstanding Indiana Jones collection. While watching the abomination, Harley P. Mathewson commented, "they should have called this 'The Kingdom of the Non-Joiners' since all the savages defending the Kingdom got killed in one fell swoop by the ruskies. Obviously they chose not to join." Mathewson was so appalled by the pathetic excuse for a movie that he condemned Jones to death. Mathewson also declared that any peon who actually liked the movie has condemned themselves to non-joinerdom, and death. When one reporter responded by telling Mathewson it was bizarre that he would condemn a fictional character to death, and not the actor playing him, Mathewson killed the reporter where she stood. He then said that Harrison Ford was a non-joiner as well. "What the non-joinerdom," Mathewson said. "Screw him too."