The Proposition

From JUOD

The Proposition is the name given to the phrase originally used by joiners during the First JUOD Revival when soliciting the unwashed masses (those who have not yet chosen between joining and death).

Formally speaking, it is stated as follows:

“Join us... or die!!!1”

Over time, the precise punctuation and capitalization have changed, but the core phrasing has remained intact. As per tradition, it is still the most commonly used manner of soliciting the unwashed masses.

The correct abbreviation of the Proposition is JUOD. Joiners will occasionally use the proposition as a casual greeting to one another as well, though the abbreviated form is more common.

Alternate Forms

From Mathewson's Treasure Map

Curiously, one aberration for this formula was found on the back of a recently uncovered map to The Treasure of Harley P. Mathewson. Scholars guess this might be a form Mathewson used in one of the lost volumes of The Verities of Joining. The proposition is as follows:

“Thou dost join, or thou wilt die & perish & meet his creator & all will fade to black & thou wilt live no more.”

Other Aberrations

Quite a number of other modifications of the Proposition have been reported, many by joiners who chose properly when faced with the ultimatum by Harley P. Mathewson:

• During the life of proto-joiner William Shakespeare, Mathewson apparently used a version of the proposition written by Shakespeare, which would later find its way into Hamlet: "Go join you, or die?"
• A journal entry from London in late 1888 purports to claim that the man was told to "Join or get ripped." This was an apparent reference to the notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper.
• An entry by the writer behind the blog Obese and Proud of It alleged that Mathewson encountered him at a local Chinese Buffet and gave him the choice to "Join or go back and get some more fried wantons and sesame chicken." After the entry, the blogger was found dead in his home, an entire Peking Duck shoved into his throat.
• Soon after 9/11, several citizens of New York City reported to having been approached by "a giant man, like a younger Dick Cheney, but more evil" who said they could "Join, or take a ride with my friend Muhammad and go window shopping."
• After Princess Diana's death, Mathewson apparently approached celebrity Julia Roberts and asked her if she wanted to "join, or go outrun some photographers in a tunnel."