Timeline

From JUOD

This is a Timeline of JUOD events.

2348 BC 

The Great Bloodfeast and Mathewson's covenant with Noah.

January 17, 1706 

Proto-joiner Benjamin Franklin is born.

1749 

Franklin devises the first Joining Index.

1754 

Franklin runs the first political cartoon in an American newspaper, bearing the caption "Join Or Die."

April 17, 1790 

Benjamin Franklin dies.

1860 

Harley P. Mathewson is born. The number of living scholars starts decreasing.

1867 

Mathewson begins work on his series of poetic novellas, The Verities of Joining.

1888 

Mathewson helps found the Alpha Tau chapter of Beta Theta Pi fraternity.

1889 

Mathewson establishes the Church of Mathewson.

1891 

Mathewson works with J.R.R. Tolkien and supposedly begins creating his five invented languages.

Late 1890s 

Mathewson discovers, and subsequently smashes, the Holy Grail.

Summer 1959 

Mathewson commits the Great Lollipop Massacre and acquires Bubble Power.

August 11, 1969 

Mathewson has a dispute with longtime joiner Jim Henson, and declares him a non-joiner.

May 25, 1977 

George Lucas releases Star Wars, a science fiction movie that flagrantly plagiarizes Mathewson's Big Fight Amongst the Sparklies.

Late 1970s

Mathewson begins his short stint as a Magician-Lawyer.

July 4, 1985 

Mathewson declares that Back to the Future is mankind's greatest achievement of all time.

May 16, 1990 

Henson uses his last ounce of strength to place Henson's Curse on Mathewson, sealing him in a spiny cocoon at the center of the earth.

2004 

The First JUOD Revival takes place.

April 2005 

After the first fails miserably, the Second JUOD Revival takes place.

September 2005 

The Proposition is uttered for the 7,583rd time, releasing Harley P. Mathewson from Henson's Curse.

October 17, 2005 

The Return of the Attack of the Star Wars Marathon: The Revenge Strikes Back takes place.

March 27, 2006 

The Triumvirate is formally established.

July 1, 2367 

To commemorate the quincentennial Canada Day, Mathewson founds AWESOMELANDIA.

April 4, 2388 

7,583 days after its founding, AWESOMELANDIA is deemed a failure by Mathewson and is sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

The End of Time 

Mathewson dies, and the very fabric of the space-time continuum dissolves